Thoughts of a Modern-Day Mountain Man: A Field Guide to Leadership in the Great Outdoors Chapter 20

This is the twentieth of a weekly blog series that will focus on leadership in the outdoors and how to get the most from the least. Even though the title is called, “Thoughts of a Modern-Day Mountain Man”, it will hopefully cover topics that are useful to everyone.

Chapter 20: Find the best partner to be a part of your company.

“When we see the face of God we shall know that we have always known it. He has been a party to, has made, sustained and moved moment by moment within, all our earthly experiences of innocent love. All that was true love in them was, even on earth, far more His than ours, and ours only because His.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

In the mountain man’s time of yesteryear the people that were chosen to be part of the company made a very clear declaration of the intentions of the trapping and trading expedition. It is a great historical inaccuracy that mountain men traveled alone or were in any way conducting themselves in a solitary manner. Depicting the mountain man of yesteryear as a man that shunned the company of others in a quest for solitude and independence does a great injustice to the actual story of the golden age of trappers and traders of the Rocky Mountains. There are many drawings, paintings and sculptures, most of which were made many years after the mountain men left the Rockies in their quest for pelts, which depict a solitary figure either on horseback or foot heading off on another adventure in search of a way of life that was devoid of civilization or any semblance of an organized society. This was a romantic notion at best. Traveling alone was not only dangerous, but would have made little to no business sense in regards to trapping as many animals as possible before the next winter quickly arrived. Most of the companies traveled in large numbers, very similar to how the military in that day and age would have moved and been organized, or they lived entirely with the native populations in the area. This usually meant wives and children were along on these trips. The people in a mountain man’s company were everything to him. Choosing the right partners often meant the difference between financial success and failure, or more importantly life and death.

Choosing the right partner for the modern-day mountain man carries just as much importance today as it has throughout history. In this particular case, I am referring to the wife that the modern-day mountain man marries. This will be his most important partner and will be his best friend through all of life’s greatest adventures. Knowing that our Creator has a plan for His creation in finding the right spouse to share our lives with is of the utmost importance. From the time we first meet our wife until the last chapter in our story is written and we go to heaven to see the Storyteller, she will take part in every part and chapter of our life. We must choose wisely.

For this modern-day mountain man the search for the perfect partner did not happen quickly or easily. I never really dated or had a romantic interest in High School, as most of my time was focused on playing sports, spending time outdoors or passing the days with friends. In college it was much like High School, though I did have the occasional romantic interest. As previously mentioned, God has a design and plan for His creation and it never took too long for me to realize that none of the women I met during this time was in any way part of the plan to become my life-long partner. In very short order, I always realized something wasn’t right, or something was missing in the relationship that could never be filled or fixed just from a desire to be with someone I liked. I knew that I had many adventures and explorations ahead and it would take a very special woman to share in God’s plan with me as my wife. It was imperative that my wife was strong, unbelievably intelligent, beautiful in every way, patient, resourceful, gracious and most important Godly. This is the woman God had intended and created for me.

In college and the subsequent years after college I did what most single men do in the Midwest on weekends, go to a social establishment with the impossible dream of meeting the perfect woman. For me, I knew all the while that there was no way this would be a fruitful effort. If you are going to meet someone very special, in all likelihood it needs to happen in a special place. I wasn’t going to meet someone who shared the same goals and dreams as me in a chance encounter. The woman God intended for me needed to be of significant character and substance, and the relationship that would need to develop to see us through all of the adventures together would take time to build a solid foundation. For Mrs. Modern-Day Mountain Woman and myself this meeting happened at a camp in Missouri. Looking back, it only seems right that God would put us both at the same place and time to meet doing the work that He would call us on to do on many subsequent adventures. This camp was by no means a Christian camp, but the staff who worked there certainly did treat each other like one big extended family. We shared everything, good and bad, and knew all of the strengths and weaknesses of one another after a very short time period. My romantic interest in Mrs. Modern-Day Mountain Woman was present from the first time I saw her; she needed more time to be convinced this was part of the plan. The great thing about meeting anyone at a small camp or in-depth outdoor program is that there is no place to hide. You will spend most, if not all of your time with the same people, quickly revealing all of their character and personality. If you were to date someone for years and only spend Friday or Saturday nights together on a date, you may never see the true person, as these may only be fun times and not reveal anything of substance to either party. For Mrs. Modern-Day Mountain Woman and myself, the early stages of our romantic relationship definitely had some rough times. It can be exceedingly difficult to want to spend time with someone having fun or getting better acquainted after spending a very long and tiring week with them where you simply can’t get away from each other. In our case, this would pay huge dividends in our relationship, as we quickly learned boundaries and when we needed time to be apart. Some of the happiest moments of my life were the very simple coffee dates that we regularly went on during this time period. Talking over a cup of coffee and reading magazines or books was a great low pressure way to continue to get to know one another without feeling the need to entertain each other or put on a special face for time together.

Two of the Same Kind.

Meeting at a camp or similar program can be a huge advantage as it will certainly test the ability of people to work together and to form an unbreakable bond in love, especially when things aren’t going as well or smoothly as we are led to believe relationships should through popular culture and media. Rarely are relationships actually representative of the pie-in-the-sky picture that is painted by society. The perfect romance does not exist, our sinful nature makes sure of that. Real love, during both the good times and the bad, can only be attained through God’s plan and creation for a man to his wife and vice versa. A relationship like this shouldn’t be easy or always comfortable, anything worth working towards is rarely this way, but it is fair to say the adventure along the way will make all of the hard work worth it. Mrs. Modern-Day Mountain Woman and I know we can get through any adversity because we are fulfilling what God has set aside for the two of us. Through this love from God we started a family and added more partners to our company. Having children as part of God’s plan has added very meaningful and adventurous chapters to our life story. Just like our marriage, it is rarely easy, but it is always worth the effort.

In conclusion, finding the right partner to be a part of your company and on-going story starts with an understanding of what God wants for His creation. God’s plan for a man and his wife is created out a perfect love that we can only hope to model through our devotion and sacrifice to one another. This love will see us through good and bad seasons, fair and rough weather and all of the adventures we will encounter along the way. Knowing that all we do and that all we are are part of God’s plan, will help us to be the best partner. Love you Sarah.